Submitting to God’s will
This morning I awoke and just like a “WHOO” I felt a new beginning “Comin’ on.”
I snoozed my cell phone alarm and slept 10 minutes past the time I was supposed to, finally got up, turned on some music and eased into the
shower. There was nothing different about my regimen. What was different was my attitude about college. I am a junior - I just wrote sophomore only
to key backspace, man has the time escaped me — at UW-Madison from Milwaukee. For the past two weeks of classes I have felt a sense of being
overcome by my challenges, even before they have swung into full motion.
I am continuing my two-year radio show on 91.7 FM every Thursday night from 10 to 11p.m., maintaining a substantial credit load and working
on my documentary film about being a Black student on a majority White campus. Those major projects are extremely important to me and they are
my passions. However, I am struggling with being motivated.
A part of me feels as if two years of college is enough to have gained the foundational knowledge and ability to analyze the world around me. I’
m at a point where I have become impatient with obtaining my degree. My freshman and sophomore years were academic successes, but for an
almost expected and mysterious reason, I started this third year feeling like I’m starting from the ground and climbing up instead of starting at the top
and doing all I can to maintain that position. So far, this third year is the Wednesday of a four year-week. Can you dig it? But at times like this it’s
when I know I just gotta buckle down, recapture the motivations that got me this far, find new excitement in the basics of life and talk to people who
know me well enough who will tell it Like It t.i. IS and keep me on my grind!
Every day, I am working to rebuild and strengthen my foundational motivation that will be solid enough to uphold the pressures of trying to
reach new levels of success.
Without it, everything I am striving towards will collapse.
During the last two years, the wind has been at my back, propelling me forward.
Now I am in a space and time where there is no wind but instead forks in the road I have trail blazed for myself and family. I can only pray and
expect that God will lead me in the way that will fulfill his purpose for my life. In my heart, I really believe this.
Over this past summer I have learned that I cannot plan my life because what’s going to go down will do so regardless. I am learning to submit
more to God’s blueprint and direction rather than that of my own. It’s working. I feel the security and certainty that comes along with submitting to
God’s will. As momma alway says, “Everything’s gonna be all right.” At this point, it is in my best interest to regain a stronghold on my basic
motivations and let God lead me. Every day, I am learning to live my words and remembering to not forget where I have come from and where I’m
going; not to forget who I am, whose I am and who I am trying to become. And that’s how it t.i. IS!